Wow such a long time no write.  I guess I kind of popped out of existence this quarter all around.  I apoligize to friends I have not called or talked to.  I guess I have just been so busy with school.  Graduate school is crazy!!!  But oh well, at the samne time I feel like I have had a lot of blessings in this time of stress too and at least I have had a little bit of fun.  Well, just wanted to let everyone know I am alive and well and that I miss all my friends so much.  I can't wait for winter break I want to spend the whole time on the phone with people, catching up on emails to out of country people , and visiting people.  I hope I can.  I just really hope that people did not take my disappearance from the planet personal haha.

And yeah I get to go on a mini trip with Patrick this break, we aren't sure where yet, but where ever it is as long as I am with him I know it'll be great .

Also, please pray for me I have a crazy 48 hour, 20 page essay final, eeeek this weekend (getting the prompts fri at 7pm then have till sun at 7pm).

Currently Playing Sea Change By Beck The whole CD is special to me =) see related

Wow long time no xanga.  So much has been going on since I last wrote in here it is crazy.  Some good some bad, but in life I realize it is only the good that matters, because you learn from the bad and become stronger because of it.  Therefore, I only wish to discuss the good

My parents got their wedding vows rennewd this summer for their 25th anniversary , I got a TA position for next year for a sociology class (not going to reveal the class though ), I saw friends, I have been studying, going to the beach, riding bikes, and spending a lot of time alone.

Here is a list of some highlights.

1. Liz left for Spain which is sad cause I am super going to miss her, but we got to spend a lot of time together before she left so that was nice.  I also got to see theee Andrew a lot, because he came to all our trips to San Juan Capistrono and shorehouse nachoes funn .  We also got to go on a trip with and Irvine church to Tecate Mexico to help out in some orphanges and a village.  I am going to continue to go on these trips when I can every three weeks so if anyone has any stuff to donate (clothes, food, toys, etc) let me know also if you want to come let me know too .  Have fun in Spain Liz and good luck in Italy when you visit . 

2.  My friend Elana (I have known her since I was 7) came down to visit me this summer (a few weeks ago) and we had so much fun, it was so refreshing to spend time with her, I swear even though I hadn't seen her for almost a year it was like no time had passed and we just picked up were we left off.  I think friendships like that are the best and I must say it is a rare gift to have a strong friendship that can survive noncontact periods due to busyness.  I also got to see Elana when I went home last week, and we shopped, gamed, had deep discussions about new life developments , and etc.  

 3. Then after that Patrick and I went on vacation for a few days, our best vacation together yet.  I got to meet two of his old school friends and I must say they were awesume.  One of them had us over for breakfast and chatting and the other one we had great philosphical talks in a dark smokey cafe.  I wish Irvine had places like that!!!  I must say the trip made me and Patrick even closer.  I am so thankful to be in a relationship where I grow closer to my partner with passing day and a relationship that inspires me to become a better person.  Well, enough of the mushy stuff .

4.   After me and Patrick got back my friends who I have known since third grade, Chiyo, Cindy, and Mira, visited.  It was wonederful to reconnect with them again and just sit and talk with them.  It is great, because I feel so uninhibited around them and even they unerstand me completely, circumventing the fear of judgement I sometimes feel around others.

5.  Next I went home for over a week, and I had such a great time there.  I got to hang out with my family and some home friends.   I would have to say one of the best, if not the best thing that happened while I was home was the late night conversations I had with my little brother Jeremy (well he is actually not little anymore he is much taller then me and he is almost 16 wows so weird, but cool).  He seems so much older and mature from the little boy he used to be, way back in the day, and it was such a pleasure to connect with him.  We had the best conversations about our philosphies on life, our personal lives, and pretty much everything else.  I am so proud of him too, and I feel lucky to have him as a brother . 

6.    It was great seeing my parents too of course!!!  I really miss them a lot and it was so weird going back to Irvine last night, because I got comfortable being at home with my family and of course our lovely doggies.  I am so glad we all got along and had a great time together, I can't wait to visit again!!  My mom, Elana, and me got to go out to eat twice during my stay which was nice, we had the best girl talk .  And I got some nice talks with my dad too.  So wonderful trip.

7.    While home I also got to see Katie and Sarah, who I have known since high school (they got to meet Patrick too cause he came to visit one of the days, they like him a lot ).  Another day, after Patrick went back to Irvine Katie, Sarah, and me chilled and watched this super romantic Korean movie!!!  It was soooo good.  And of course we gossiped and ate lot's of junk food .

 8.   I did get sick towards the end of my trip home so I didn't get to stay over at my grandparents  house like I planned, which really sucked.  So hopefully I can next time I go home.  They are so much fun and I miss them a lot, but I still get to talk to them on the phone so that's good.  And did get to see them briefly at my other grandparents 50th anniversary which was a great party.  I think 50 years is wonderful achievement and I am so happy that they have been together so long , it's really inspiring. 

Currently Watching Donnie Darko By Jake Gyllenhaal see related

Life is too short to be spent worrying and fearing being hurt.  The gift of closeness outweighs the potential downfalls, because even if a friendship becomes lost every second you had with that friend is a treausre unto itself. 

This has always been something I have struggled realizing, but today I think I finally absorbed this simple truth.

THE PARADOXES OF TIME AND MEMORIES

Time moves so slow, yet so fast at the same time.  This is a paradox yes, but here is why...The stereotypical thing for me, a graduating senior at UCI, to say would be that it seems like only yesterday that I was a freshmen moving in the dorms.  Well, actually retreospecitvely it does seem like a really long time ago, because it was four years ago and because so much has changed since then (my hopes, desires, personality, friends, life persepctive, and etc).  Thus time moves slowly.  

Yet, on the same note time moves fast too, because my memories of past times throughout college are so vivid that it makes stuff that happened a long time ago seem like it just happened. 

Memories are a double edged sword though sometimes, because on the one hand it is such a gift to be able to capture moments in time forever in your heart, but at the same time it can be painful, because you realize how different things are and miss times past.  The edge banquet tonight made me think a lot about time (both slow and fast) as well as memories.  Fond memories of fun times I realize are worth the pain they may cause, but shouldn't be a hinderance to the future.  I am moving forward now in life and even though I will still be at UCI next year things will be different, a lot of my close friends have already left, but I feel lucky to have had such wonderful people in my life and still have wonderful people in my life.  Not all friendships endure the test of time and distance, but my memories will allow me to hold them close to my heart until future reunions.  I am truly blessed.

Currently Reading Other Side of the Story, The see related